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Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Wish me luck and...PRAY!!

So yesterday morning hormones were raging and I woke up extremely....*happy* with Mr. Wonderful, if you catch my drift. After an early morning *rendezvous* I went to the bathroom as usual. What did I see?? The worst thing ever when you are pregnant...blood!! I know it is totally normal but it is still frightening. I waited a few minutes and went back to the bathroom and this time it was heavier and brighter. I called my Dr's office and paged the on-call physician. She finally returned my call and I told her everything. Of course she said the same thing that was going through my mind already. Then I asked if I should go to the hospital and instead of a reassuring response she said, "There is no point, we can't do anything and you are too early to have an u/s. Just wait for you appt. on Tuesday."

Not very comforting at all!!! Not too mention, presumptuous and wrong. She didn't even ask how far along I was. She didn't even realize that my appt was for an u/s. If I can have one on Tues, I'm positive I could have one Sunday.

Nevertheless, I called my Momma. Who I always call when I need help. She told me that the Dr was right about it  being completely normal and I just needed to relax and take it easy, but if I started to bleed heavier to go to the hospital and demand to be seen. So, I stayed on the couch all day. I have continued to spot since then, but it got lighter and today was only slightly brown, and recently nothing.  Hopefully, this is good news.

But what did I do all day, today?? Sit on the couch and torture myself by reading hundreds of stories of miscarriages in the first trimester. So now I am just scared and preparing my self for the worst.

I am torn between thinking a) God did not make me wait this long for a baby to just take it away and everything is fine and I am just stressing for no reason.
b) My body has fought me for the last 7 years, why would it stop fighting me know?? (STUPID PCOS)

So my appt is at 12:00 tomorrow for an U/S and then meet with the Dr. and 2:00. Wish me luck and please keep me and my family in your prayers.

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