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Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Surprisingly....

Surprisingly, I have been having a pretty good week, despite Doodle's absense. Yesterday, Mr. Wonderful was off again, so we just played video games and straightened up the house a little and relaxed. Sometimes, I am amazed that after 12 years together we still find things to talk about and enjoy each other's company. We don't have to be doing anything special, just sitting, laughing, talking... I love him soo much. I have really been appreciating everything he does for his family lately. I mean, I have always been appreciating him, just more than usual lately. I am able to be a SAHM and take care of Doodle, all because he supports us. He goes to work for 12 hours a day and busts his ass....all for me and Doodle. I am truly thankful to have him in my life!! He is my best friend!!


So today I talked to the rep from the clinical trial. She asked some questions and then said that we would qualify to start the screening process. EXCITING!! Here's the kicker... I have to stop taking my Metformin. I am about to start my 3rd cycle of Clomid with OB and I don't want to stop taking it now. So I think I will finish out this cycle and then if I am no preggers then I will stop all medications for 2 months and then be able to start the trial. The other kicker is that there are some things that we will have to pay for. The semen analysis and some ultra sounds and things of that nature will all be our responsibility, but she said that the semen analysis was only $60-65, which I think is very reasonable. Thought it was going to cost like $250. Since insurance doesn't cover the RE, I think this the way to go. Plus I will be monitored and such, unlike at the OB's office.


On another note, Aunt Flo seems to be making her exit just as quickly as she made her entrance. *TMI coming up... I didn't even have to use a tampon at all today. What is going on?? I think it is from the Clomid. I know that it can decrease your lining. I just hope it isn't decreasing it tooo much to make a baby. This cycle just doesn't feel right.


Since I started my own blog, I have become increasingly obsessed with reading everyone else's. There are so many amazing stories out there. Some that are great and some that just make me cry and remember how incredibly lucky....no, blessed... I am to have the life and the family that I do. Last night I was up until 2 in the AM reading Hudson's One Good Thing. I'm not sure why it drew me in. I have never lost a child, but for some reason I was just drawn to reading it. I started at the beginning and I have only gotten to the 3rd month of her blog. I just couldn't stop. Half the time I was smiling and laughing at the videos and pictures, and the other half I was sobbing like a baby. The way Hudson's mother tells her story is amazing. I'm not sure how I would be if I were to loose my Doodle, but I don't think would have such grace and strength as Hudson's mom. I am so inspired by her. It has truly helped me think about this whole TTC #2 thing. Yes, I still want it just as bad as before, but I am so thankful that my Doodle wasn't taken from me. In the hospital the week before she made her grand entrance, I was absolutely terrified that she would be. Since then I have forgotten about how quickly she could still be taken away. It has definitely reminded me to appreciate every little thing....including the annoying attitude, not listening when I say something, and arguing over doing homework.
Thank you, Hudson's mommy for reminding me of that. I think this is just one of the other amazing "One Good Things" Hudson left behind!!

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